The Trials & Tribulations of Motherhood.

Wednesday saw me drop to an all time low during my parenting life. As a working mum I know that there are aspects of my boys growing up that I will miss. Unfortunately this is a harsh reality at times. No one said being a working parent was easy. I'm sure every parent out there who is working full time does not have an option to reduce their hours and feels exactly the same as I do every morning. Guilty for earning money to pay for life itself.

Wednesday was no different. My boys were at nursery as usual on this day. Now dont get me wrong, they both really enjoy nursery and always come back with a smile on their faces. But what I did not expect was for me to collect them on Wednesday and feel like I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Working full time, 'fixer upper'ing a house, having 2 young children and a husband takes up all of my time. There is never a time when there isnt something to do or think about.

On this particular Wednesday I forgot it was my eldest sons 'graduation' from nursery. On this particular day my son asked my why I hadnt came to watch him in his performance. On this particular moment all I could say was 'I'm sorry, mummy had to work'.

That look from my son who thought his mummy didnt love him enough to come and watch him will haunt me. But what really got to me was that I hadnt remembered. Now I know leaving nursery isnt the biggest milestone, but it meant something to my son at that moment and I had completely forgotten it was taking place. Even if I had have remembered I wouldnt have been able to go, but I would have prepared my son for his parents not being there, I would have made sure he felt loved as he was being dropped off on the morning. But I had failed him.

The realisation that I will miss many events like this really hit home on Wednesday and the rollercoaster of life was at the lowest point of its journey. However, I had to pull myself together. I have to make sure that in the future my sons understand that even if their parents cant come to 'coffee mornings at school' that it isnt because we dont want to be. That every minute I have with my boys is filled with fun, enjoyment and love as always.

So last night I spent an hour and a half with my boys building lego creations. I have no idea what the above 'model' was, but the time spent watching my boys work together as a team build something was heart warming.

No-one said parenting was easy, but sometimes no-one ever says how hard it is either. The temper tantrums & sleepless nights are one thing, but there are other aspects of children growing up that as working parents you may miss and I wanted to share this with you all to say 'you're not alone'.